The Precious You [Chp2]

Genre: Romance – Angst – Hurt – Comfort – Drama – Selfharm

Rating: R15

Pairing: (mainly) Yamatonokami Yasusada x Kashuu Kiyomitsu

Side pairing: Izumi no Kami Kanesada x Horikawa Kunihiro

Summary: Being haunted by the past memories of his late master, Okita Souji, Kashuu was desperately trying to forget the fact that he was a rusty sword. His twin, Yasusada, who bore a striking resemblance to Okita made him feel repulsed because he was constantly reminded of his own weakness and background. Unbeknownst to Yasusada, some bruises and wound had started appearing little by little on Kashuu's beautiful body.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction made for personal satisfaction. Touken Ranbu belongs to DMM and Nitroplus. No connection is implied or should be in inferred.

Chapter 2: Whisper

Yasusada swiftly swung his sword, slicing the falling leaf in the air. He took a deep breath and sheathed his sword. Someone clapped his hand, making him turn around.

"Kunihiro…"

"I see you are so intensely focused."

"Sort of, yeah… I guess it clears my mind a little" Yasusada said and combed his hair with his fingers. Horikawa smiled and walked to him.

"The other team has returned from the expedition, so I'm here to tell you that we are going to have lunch soon. I hope didn't interrupt you."

"Oh, no, it's alright. I was just… wondering what is happening to Kashuu… That's all."

Kunihiro looked at him worriedly. "Did he say anything to you?"

Yasusada sighed and shook his head. He strolled back to the house with him, while looking around the garden. "He didn't even tell me a thing…" Yasusada muttered as his eyes followed a flying butterfly until it landed on a flower nearby. He smiled at the scenery. "If it's Okita, he would have said that it's so peaceful…"

Kunihiro smiled back at him. "Yes, he would…" he agreed as he watched the butterfly flew away again.

"I know he is crying every night… It's getting worse since we reached Kyoto… The memory of the Ikedaya Raid…" Yasusada spoke up, looking at Kunihiro. "I can't do anything about him. I can only listen to him cry while pretending to be asleep. I'm such a bad partner…" Yasusada said, staring at his own sword. "What's the use of this sword if I can't help him? Sometimes I felt like my heart is being ripped apart when I hear him crying."

"I'm sure he will eventually tell you if you give him some time. Maybe he just doesn't know how to open up to you…" Horikawa tried his best to assure him. Yasusada could only sigh.

"I wish he can just do it right now…"

"You know it's quite a sensitive topic if it's about Ikedaya…"

"I know…" Yasusada walked inside the house without saying another word.

"Even if we are part of the raid… We could only watch our master fight without being able to do anything… we are just swords after all. Once we break…" Horikawa looked down sadly, his hands clenched into a fist.

Yasusada didn't say a word and patted on his shoulder. "Come on, you told me it's time for lunch, right?"

Horikawa nodded and gave him a small smile. He allowed Yasusada to drag him inside the living room. The other toudans were already complaining about their delayed lunch.

Kashuu picked up his sword and hissed at the sharp pain in the palm of his hand. The wound… He didn't let the master know about it. Not even once did he think about getting the small wound tended to. Such minor damage will not affect him. They are going to do some inspection on the map today. He needed to get ready as soon as possible. Kashuu walked towards the gate to join the others who were still waiting for the final order. He looked around and finally found who Yasusada was standing under the shade of a tree, checking on his sword.

"Yasusada…" he called out to the man who raised his head in response. For a moment there he really looked like Okita; the flowing long hair, and the way his eyes were... they had the same exact coldness Okita had when he was raiding. Kashuu winced at Yasusada's smile.

"Shall we go? The others are almost ready," he wrapped the white band around his head.

"Alright, let's go…" Kashuu said, looking away when Yasusada stood up straight. They organized their troops as soon as their master joined in. The team started their journey to the bridge over Ikedaya.

Battles were inevitable during their way to the Inn. They were surrounded by a lot of mobsters that were equipped with Yari. The sun was already setting and they had to reach the Inn by night time if possible.

Kashuu was gasping for breath as he lunged forward. The mobsters were mightier than ever. He had to swing his sword and spin his body to create an impact that was heavy enough to deal damage to his opponents. As expected, his movement was enough to break the sword and kill the enemy. He briefly examined his surroundings and discovered that most of his teammates had sustained severe injuries. The sight before him distracted him from an incoming attack from the front. The next thing he knew, he was knocked out.

The raid was a failure for them this time and it was Kashuu's fault… Kashuu blamed himself as he stared at his own broken body. Not even one of them was willing to repair him; not even one of them offered Okita the option to repair him. He was forever damaged. He couldn't be repaired. The soul of the sword was crying as he watched Okita silently left the blacksmith.

"No… please don't go… Please… I can still fight alongside with you…" Kashuu reached out for his master in hopes that he would search for another blacksmith. But it was futile. His master would never hear him. Kashuu tried chasing after Okita, the man who was able to handle him; the man who had always treasured him; the man who had always called him beautiful.

But he couldn't run as fast as he could because he was severely wounded. He felt every part of his own body screaming in pain as he ran after his beloved master.

"Okita-san! Please…"

The sky was gradually painted orange by the sunset as he kept running. It was the color which Kashuu hated the most. He realized that he had followed his master to the place he knew so well by the time he stood still beside a riverbank. Kashuu slumped down to the grass below his feet exhaustedly, grabbing onto Okita's hakama.

"Okita-san!" he desperately wished that he could hear his voice.

"Kiyomitsu… You are… I'm sorry…" his late master whispered with his head lowered. His words were almost inaudible. Kashuu couldn't make out the expression on his face either because it was well hidden beneath his bangs. He crouched down to thrust the damaged sword and its broken tip into the ground. The steel of the sword shimmered under the setting sun.

Kashuu's eyes widened as he saw himself being abandoned. The sight of himself being disposed was forever imprinted in his mind. Kashuu shook his head in denial. He started sobbing miserably when Okita turned around.

"Don't leave me…" Kashuu held onto the edge of his master's master hakama with his bloodied palm and begged weakly. The blood on his hand soaked into Okita's hakama. But his master walked away without another word. Kashuu's sobs grew louder, tears running freely as he wailed.

His job was finished since that day. He could never be beautiful anymore. The damage was irreversible. No one was willing to repair him. No one desired the broken him. He couldn't even bear to imagine what Okita thought of him now, but he was sure that he would tell him that he was hideous.

No one wanted him anymore… Even his master thought he was no longer worthy to be kept at his home. He had left him near his hometown, where he belonged. Beside the riverbank… Deep down his heart he wished that he could hear the familiar voice of his master calling out his name once again, coming back to pick him up. While he was drowning in his own agony, a faint sound reached his ears. His vision blurred away as the voice got closer and closer.

"Kashuu–"

"Kiyomitsu!"

He recognized that voice. That was the voice of his partner; the one that resembled Okita. He snapped open his eyes and saw Yasusada looking down at him. His blue eyes were filled with worry. Kashuu looked around him in slight confusion.

"This is…"

"The refinement room," Yasusada completed his sentence, and took both of Kashuu's hands into his own preciously. Kashuu was frowning at the gesture before he was pulled into a tight hug by Yasusada.

"Thank God you are alright. I was so worried that it might happen again. We are not in the inn yet, but still…" the taller man gently caressed Kashuu's hair, while rocking him back and forth as if he was a baby.

Kashuu hissed at him and pushed the man away. "Stop it…" he protested.

"Oh, I'm sorry…" his partner pulled away, giving him some space to breathe.

"Did you guys come back because…"

"You were heavily wounded, the rest were injured too so… we had to retreat. Wouldn't want to lose you as well… I panicked so much and I had to carry you in my arms while attacking the mobster."

Kashuu looked at him in surprise.

"You…"

"I didn't want the same thing to repeat again. Not this time…"

Kashuu lowered his gaze, his heart clenched painfully.

'Please don't pretend that you care… when you are… more precious to Okita…'

"Thank you…" he whispered back and faked a smile. Yasusada returned his smile and wrapped his arms around him. Kashuu went rigid as soon as he felt a kiss on his forehead.

"Please… don't break again… Kiyomitsu… Please…"

Kashuu couldn't react. His mind went blank for a moment while Yasusada continued caressing him. "Can you… leave me alone?" he finally managed in a cold voice.

"Sure… Sure… You have to rest, so please, use your free time to rest as much as you can…" his partner rubbed his head before he let go of him. For a moment there, Yasusada looked like he still had something to say. However, Kashuu averted his gaze, subtly signaling to him that the conversation was over and he would like to be left alone. Yasusada's smile fell as he turned around and made his way to the door. He took one last glance at the man in bed. Kashuu was looking out of the window. Yasusada slid open the door and left the room.

'It's better if you get out of my sight for a while… You look too much like that man… even your long hair resembles him so much that it annoyed the hell out of me…'

Kashuu gripped the blanket around him, feeling irritated at the memory that surfaced when he blacked out.

Yasusada stood outside before the closed door. His eyes were staring at the paper door as if he could see through the translucent paper. He pressed his forehead against the door and sighed lightly.

'Why won't you let me come near you…?' his fingers absentmindedly traced the wooden door.

TBC